Release

Writing, especially in the form of blogging is something that I am very passionate about.

It has been an escape for me, a safe place. I can open up wordpress and instantly be happy. Since the day I started blogging in grade three, it has made up who I am.

Despite how happy it makes me, since that day I started blogging, there have been some times when I have wanted to delete my blog.

You may be slightly confused. Blogging is a place for me to be happy, why the heck would I want to delete it?!

Sometimes people make me forget all the great things about blogging.

One day way back in grade four we were learning about how to make a blog and my teacher pulled up my blog as an example. My cheeks flooding with blood, my heart bursting out of my chest, I couldn’t show it to them.

“Who has a blog? That’s so weird”

“What’s the point of having a dumb blog”

These comments mixed with seemingly blinding glances circled around me. For the first time, I was ashamed of my blog. For the first time, I wanted nothing to do with it.

For a few years after that my blog went undiscovered, and that made me enjoy blogging even more. It was a safe place just for family.

I could write about anything without worrying if I’d be judged.

Now, teachers like to bring up my blog quite a bit. I really should appreciate the love and support my educators show for my writing, but when they announce that I have a blog in class I want to run right out of the classroom.

I feel the eyes staring at my hot face and the comments rising.

This year I was sitting in class working on a paragraph for an English assignment when I heard giggles coming from a group of my friends across the room. I could feel them staring at me. I was later told by one of them that they were all looking at my blog jokingly, not really saying things that made me want to continue writing.

After I heard about this, I froze. All the satisfaction with my writing had disappeared.

“Cringey”

“Dumb”

“Exaggeration”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from them. I wanted to disappear.

I couldn’t just let it go, as many people told me to do. Everytime I opened up my blog I heard all those words like a broken record in my head.

After days of feeling worthless, I realized something.

Why was I letting their useless words get to my head?

Can they write a blog post like I can? Probably not.

Can they say they’ve written on Huffington Post? I doubt it.

I am so proud of my blog, and if you know me well you would know that I don’t say I’m proud of something a lot.

If I let people’s comments get to my head like I did before, I will lose one of the only things I am really confident about.

I decided that every time someone says something I don’t like, I’ll use it as feedback. I’m never going to let a couple irrelevant words take control of me.

There are so many people that actually enjoy my blog. Their comments are the ones that need to take a stand in my head.

I love blogging and nobody can change that.

“Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don’t let anyone limit your dreams.”

-Donovan Bailey

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6 thoughts on “Release

  1. Envious classmates : 0; Determined, driven, courageous, talented, gifted Claire : 10!!!!

    I am so glad you decided to continue blogging : love your “gutsy-ness”!

  2. Oh dear, jealous and mean-sprited people are everywhere aren’t they and you’ll meet them throughout your life, unfortunately. Don’t ever let them diminish you. Continue to be confident and determined to do whatever you want to do. x

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