watching the wheels

If there’s one thing to know about me, it’s that I think. A lot. Well, I guess that’s one of the symptoms of being human, but at times it feels as though I can’t find the mute button to my thoughts.

One thing I find myself prominently thinking about is the future. Where will I be in ten, twenty years? Will I be the CEO of a successful company? Will I be in debt and unhappy?

I plan out everything. I have a journal where I write out my weekly and daily tasks. When we went for a family vacation to Maui this past Christmas I wrote out an itinerary. I like having a grasp on how events will play out. But this is impossible when it comes to my future as an adult.

If I could have it my way, I’d know exactly where I’ll be living in ten years, where I went to school, where I’m working, and any answers I could receive.

But that’s not how it works.

When I find myself stressing about the future, I remind myself that I’m fifteen. In high school. If I waste the 3% of my life I spend in high school worrying about my adulthood, when I actually get to my adulthood I’ll be wishing I savoured the short time I spent being a teenager.

I only have two and a half years left going to high school parties, driving to school with my siblings and my mom, waking up every morning with my family down the hall, playing soccer with my best friends, seeing the kids I grew up with everyday at school, and just being a teenager.

It’s such a weird, awkward, fun, special time in our lives, and I’m not going to waste it wanting to be an adult and already worrying about the stress that comes with it.

Living in the moment is a difficult, yet incredibly important skill to acquire. But I’m not going to live life in the future until there isn’t anymore future to live in.

I’m going to be thankful for the moments I live in, because once they pass, it’s merely a distant memory.

7 thoughts on “watching the wheels

  1. You can play out your future over & over again and totally miss the target. It’s cliché, but the here & now is all we can be sure about. So, why not make the most of who you are now, what you have now & what you are doing now. The future is yours to discover & not yours to plan out. So, savour the moment and make memories that you will look back on…when you’ve made you way into the future. Life and its unknown twists await! Enjoy the ride!

  2. It really is important to live in the now but while enjoying that, we need to be a bit aware of the future we may be working towards. The future to aim for must also be in step with our basic values in life. I am at the other end of the continuum and live as you urge us to. I still have five year aims that I review and adjust in accord with my reality each January. Then set objectives for the year. A similar process each month, week and day. I totally love that you are actively deciding to enjoy the journey. Enjoy!

    1. That seems to be an effective system, it’s a tough challenge for me to find the balance between both ends of the spectrum, but I’ll keep working towards it:)
      Thank you for your wise words, as always.
      Hope all is well!

  3. Hi Claire . Thank you for sharing this dilemma which you seem to be working out. I believe you have raised something that is applicable to all of us, but few are as fortunate as you are to have put it into such practical yet wise perspective.It makes me think that we are all somehow riding a bicycle built for two: times zones, today and tomorrow!
    Thanks for both your curiosity , observations, and forward reflections.

    Thanks for the good advice! Tons of love to you! Frances

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