At school, in Humanities we have been writing short personal narratives. We each chose a story that has happened in our lives, and started to organize how it will be told. Mine is called “Dark and Scary”. It’s about when Cole (my little brother) locked me in a laundry dryer. I think he has grown out of locking people in things so don’t think any less of him! I hope you enjoy my story!
“Ding Dong” Becca arrives. I take a huge bite of the delicious chicken pot pie before I go to greet her.
“Hi Becca,” my siblings and I say in unison. I watch Becca take off her shoes and follow her to the kitchen.
“Remember, no candy and be in bed by 8:30. If you behave yourselves, you might get a treat tomorrow! Becca is the babysitter so listen to her,” my parents say sternly.
“8:30?! That’s so not fair!” my annoying 3 year old sister whines.
“You never stay awake past 7:30!” my 5 year-old brother argues.
“Cole! Cate! Stop arguing. After you finish dinner you can play a game and then you can watch a movie,” I hear my mom tell Becca as I slurp down some lemonade.
“Ok, Thanks Denise! Have a nice evening!” Becca replies as I hear my parents go out the front door. “So, what do you guys want to do?” Becca asks as I savour my last piece of chicken pot pie.
“Hide go seek” Cate shouts.
“It’s Hide AND go seek” My brother antagonizes once again.
“Ya! Lets play Hide and go seek” I reply.
“Ok, Hide And Go Seek it is!” Becca says with enthusiasm while she wipes the counter. “I will count first”. I hop off of the bar stool and sprint upstair’s with my brother close behind me. “6,7,8,9…”I hear Becca counting. I rush into the laundry room and look around for a spot to hide. ‘The laundry dryer!’ I think to myself. I slide into the laundry dryer, feet first. I keep the door open so that I don’t get stuck in it. “20,21,22,23…” Cole appears and looks at me with an evil look in his eyes.
“Go hide!” I whisper with a harsh tone. He keeps staring at me, the light bulb above his head getting brighter and brighter.
“37, 38, 39…”
“COLE GO HIDE!”. He keeps staring at me until finally he makes his move. He steps toward me and slowly, moves his hand toward the laundry drier door. ‘No’ Is all I can think. I open my mouth to shout something at him but before I have time to arrange the words in my head he slams the door shut and I am left in complete darkness, in a laundry dryer. My first instinct is to try to open the door. No matter how hard I try, it won’t budge.
“48, 49, 50! Ready or not, here I come!”. I try screaming but it feels like all the air around me has been sucked out of the darkness. I make out enough air to scream for help. My eyes and cheeks begin to feel wet with tears. I can hear my heartbeat in my whole body. I continue to scream, knowing my brother is 2 metres away from me, probably laughing. I feel like I am in my own, tiny, pitch black, terrifying little world. I continue to sob and scream, for what feels like hours. I try to focus on the fresh smell of cotton that makes me want to sneeze. Still sobbing, I try one more time to open the door. My eyes feel red and swollen from crying so much. Suddenly, I hear a sound.
“Claire?” It is quiet but enough to know that I will be okay. I start banging as hard as I possibly can, every time my hand throbs more. I see light that is blinding compared to the darkness that I have been in. “Claire! Are you okay?!” I look at Becca and start to sob again. Cole looks to the ground with a evil grin.
“Come on Claire, Let’s make some hot chocolate. Cole! Go down stairs and sit in your time out chair. I will talk to you later.” I follow Becca downstairs and sit down in the same spot where I ate dinner, which felt like hours ago. I sip on my hot chocolate, it’s delicious taste filling me with warmth. I take deep breaths and try to lower my heart rate.
“That was very naughty of you Cole! You have to tell your parents what you did!” I hear a faint moan, but it’s enough for me to know that I have won this battle. Becca comes back into the room, looking sort of annoyed. “Come on Claire and Cate, lets watch a movie while Cole stays in his time out chair. I pass Cole’s purple time out chair, and make my way to the couch, still a little shocked, but having a slight grin of pride, knowing that I get to watch a movie while Cole has to sit in his tiny purple time out chair. I relax into the fluffy brown blanket, ‘what a night’ I think to myself.
8 thoughts on “My Personal Narrative”
Very well written Claire. I could see it so clearly and felt your fear.
Thanks Brian! I now have a slight fear of Laundry dryers…
Love your writing Claire! miss you guys !
I miss you too! When can we see you again? Happy Thanksgiving!
While your brother’s logic and lack of judgment remains questionable, your perseverance and writing skills are no match to his.
You are becoming a wonderful storyteller. (better than me)
Hi Claire. I loved your account of ‘evil’ Cole’s wicked exploits! I’m sure you got your revenge… The best bit for me was three paragraphs before the end when you re-lived your thoughts and feelings of being in that claustrophobic world of the drier. Some great language and imagery there. Sorry – I’m talking like a retired English teacher. More writing please! Jane x
Really nice blog Claire!
I really liked your blog post.
I loved your creativity!
I loved reading your post Claire. Your writing has come so far – much detail and imagery that allows the reader to “see” what is happening. My favorite line is “He keeps staring at me, the light bulb above his head getting brighter and brighter.”
I know Becca is really going to enjoy reading this! xo